The following are my true thoughts, but they may not be politically correct.
I had a double degree in mathematical statistics during college. Even though I was busy coding and taking on outsourcing jobs and didn't attend classes much, I still remembered one thing: to calculate the "expected value." In probability theory and statistics, the expected value (or mathematical expectation, or mean, also simply called expectation, known as the expectation value in physics) refers to the sum of each possible outcome's probability multiplied by its result in a discrete random variable experiment; in other words, it is the average value equivalent to "expectation" calculated from repeated results under the same conditions in a random experiment.
No matter how good the possible outcome might be, if the likelihood of such an outcome is too low, it's not worth the effort.
Starting a business itself is something with a very low expected value, because the probability of surviving is extremely low, let alone thriving. Besides continuously improving cognition, iterating methodologies, and maintaining an optimistic and persistent attitude to increase the chances of success, some luck is still needed. Choosing to start a business has already been the biggest gamble of my life. If there really is a total value of RP (random points) in one's lifetime, I am willing to save all my RP for entrepreneurship so that the company can survive and do well. Therefore, there isn't much RP left for love and marriage.
There must be your soulmate in this world, but the probability of you meeting him/her at the right time and place is basically zero. So even if the potential experience might be great, I don't indulge in expecting it to happen; after all, you can't rely on luck for everything. Falling in love with someone is just the secretion of hormones being abnormal, and eventually, it will return to normal levels, back to a low-energy state. What you think is your conscious control and autonomous experience is actually just the product of various chemical substances interacting.
There is another issue: I have never been fond of any physical contact less than zero. When I was younger and more fragile, I always thought that I needed someone to accompany me in my life, willing to cater to the other person, and sexual harmony was also an important part of an intimate relationship; as I got older, mainly with the growing strength within, I firmly believed that my happiness was more important, and I didn't even bother to pretend anymore.
Of course, there are also vulnerable moments, times when I feel pressure, a sense of defeat, anxiety, and helplessness. For example, during the recent bout with COVID-19, since I had only received two doses of the Sinovac vaccine, my symptoms were more severe compared to friends here in Singapore who had received booster shots. There were 2 days of vomiting, diarrhea, body aches, nasal congestion, and coughing, which were particularly uncomfortable. Alone in the hotel, I did wish there was someone beside me to offer some comfort. But then again, considering that this was the only time I've caught a cold in years, enduring these 2 days for the sake of relying on someone would mean tolerating 1000 days of uncertainty from them. After some thought, I decided these 2 days could be overcome. Regular exercise and self-protection are key to not frequently being in a passive state.
After all, Every gift has a price.